The Day I Decided to Get Sober

 Today is the day I want you to remember. 

Today is the day you finally decided to get, and stay sober. 

I know you're scared. Which is ridiculous because what are you scared of?

Not having fun? 

Is that really worth EVERYTHING that comes with the morning after? 

The shame?

The guilt?

The hangover?

The embarrassment? 

The anxiety over having done something stupid?

Is a few hours excitement really worth all the days of repercussions?

What are you really afraid of? What do you really want out of getting drunk?

Losing yourself?

Having someone have to take care of you?

Letting go? Of what?

You are currently on day TWO of a hangover from drinking too much. You are still so shaky you can barely function. Yesterday you laid on the couch all day because you were so sick. BEAR NOTICED last night that you were drunk. He's going to remember that. 

Lets be clear, you drank yourself into oblivion while Barry was gone. There was no one at home to take care of the boys. You did this at Billie's house too. Talked all weekend of the boys' safety and then drank yourself stupid. The SHAME you have felt the last 36 hours, was it worth it?

And lets take this a step further because now we're on a roll. 

Your diet. You're going to change that too. You are exhausted and cranky and you feel awful in general. I remember you talking to mom about even if something yummy made you feel gross you would still eat it. Then you did the paleo diet for 75 hard and didn't think too much of it.

Now you're two months off paleo and you feel awful. Like, really awful. And you're starting to realize just how much junk food affects you. In a bad way. 

It's time to get your life together. You felt SO GOOD on paleo. And drinking and a bad diet make you feel SO BAD. If the idea of forever is what scares you then lets give it a timeline.

Ten years. I want you to give me ten years of no drinking. Lets let the boys grow up with a sober, happy mom. I have no doubt that by the time ten years pass you won't want to pick up drinking again. You don't want cigarettes anymore, right? Its going to be the same with alcohol. But if you need an out, an end, lets make it ten years. You can have a drink with Bear when he turns 21. That's your end date. 

Let this be the day of your turning point. Let this be the day you get healthy and enjoy your life. 

Any time you need to remind yourself why, you come back to this post. 

Galveston Beach Trip!

 Already knocked one off the summer bucket list!

On Saturday we took a quick trip to Galveston before Barry left for Georgia. I can't quite take the boys to the beach by myself yet, so we decided that since Barry is going to be gone for most of the summer we would go ahead and take them to the beach while we had the chance. Galveston State Park is still getting renovated, so we went to Stewart Beach. It is so worth the little fee to be able to rinse off before getting back in your car!

We actually got a family photo! Thank goodness for this mom who came up to us while we were trying to take a selfie photo and offered to take a photo of us. There are so few photos of us all together, I'm so so thankful for this wonderful woman!

The boys absolutely love the beach! It is definitely a busy day for me and Barry but it is so worth it!

We only spent about two hours at the beach, and about two hours driving but it was worth getting to spend that special time with Barry.

 

Summer Bucket List - 2022

Wanna hear a funny story? This is the post I was going to post last year, and never did. 😂 My favorite is the second paragraph where I say I'll stick to a bucket list and post it. Bless my little 2021 heart. So I'm just gonna post it for this year and call it good. 

***********

Ok. I know I do this every year. But this is the year damnit. 

This is the year I make a bucket list and stick to it AND actually do posts! Because I want to preserve these memories. 

So here goes. We will start with the goals and school stuff and then move on to the actual bucket list. 

Goals:

Make a schedule and stick to it. Operation Summer Sanity is a go!

Continue schoolwork for the boys. General ideas like working on handwriting, cutting, reading 100 books in conjunction with 1000 minutes of reading for Bear and book reports (and writing in complete sentences), math for the twins along with vocab and speech. This will be a post on its own. We have a lot to accomplish, and I feel like I finally have the knowledge to move forward!

Date Nights with the boys one on one: mini golf, go to the movies, etc.

Stick with the idea of weekly themes  I don’t need to go all out, just use the weekly themes to come up with fun ideas for things to do

Try to do at least two instagramable things a week  not because I need the likes, but because I love looking back on my Instagram at all the fun things we do! Also, the boys’ family needs to get to know them better. We stay pretty isolated and that’s our choice but I’d love for the family to have some kind of bond with the boys  

Now for the actual bucket list!!! ( I so wish there was a way I could do multiple columns for this, its sooooooooo long!)

Outside Ideas:

Watch Fireworks

Draw with Chalk

Bubble Guns or rent a bubble machine

Go get sno-cones

Watch a sunrise

Watch a sunset

Catch Fireflies (GA idea)

Go on a picnic

Pick Fresh Fruit (Froberg Farm)

Read outside

Water Balloon Fight

Ride Bikes

Lay in a hammock

Stargaze

Wash the Car

Fly a kite

Play Frisbee

Plant a garden

Picture Scavenger Hunt

Water gun fight

Slip and Slide

Play Catch

Rent a bouncy house

Sidewalk Chalk & Hopscotch

Ice block with toys

Giant Bubbles

Sponge Ball War

Melt Ice Cubes

Walk the Plank/Ninja Warrior Course

Bury a Time Capsule

Fourth of July Family Field Day

Shaving Cream on Trampoline

Buy an Above Ground Pool and do all the swimming!

Inside Ideas:

Morning Invitationals a la Days with Grey

Make Play Doh plate things

Finger paint

Color Big Pages

Read Lots of Books

Singe Lots of Songs

Make a Paper Bag Puppet

Make Popsicles

Make a Fort

Make Ice Cream

Make Jam

Make Lemonade

Make cheerio necklaces

Play with Lego Blocks

Marshmallow Shooters

Make Ice Cream Sandwiches

Make Sno Cones

Make Paper Wind Sock

Make Jello Jigglers

Crafternoon

Make suckers

Home made Root Beer

Do a science project

Banana Splits

Nerf Sword Fights

Obstacle Course

Paint Rocks

Journaling

All the baking

Adventures:

San Antonio with Mom

Peach Creek!

Visit 10 different city parks

Moody Gardens

-Whole Family

-Bear Bear

-Palm Beach

Zoo

Observation Tower

Children’s Museum

Galveston Beach

-Dolphin Tour

-Build a sandcastle

-Feed the seagulls

-Ride the Ferry

-Visit the Board Walk

Surfside Beach

Baseball Game/Sporting Event

Visit 5 Splash Pads

George Ranch

Frobergs Farm

Alvin Animal Safari

Visit Farmer’s Markets

Arboretum

Visit a lake

Go to the Library

Free tour of the Ship Channel

Aquarium

Visit Dad at Work

Visit the police horses

Feed the ducks at a pond

Amusement Park

Visit a historical site

Tour a fire station

Tour a factory (Maybe Blue Bell?)

Splashtown

Pirates Bay Area Waterpark

Discovery Green Concert

Discovery Green Movie Night

Drive In Movie

Kemah Boardwalk

Go to a Festival

Demolition Derby

Go to a Carnival

San Jacinto State Park

Mom and Dad Date:

Summer nights fire pits

Go bowling

Ropes Date at Moody Gardens

Mini Golf

River Trip

Tour historic home

Habanero Hundred Training - Week 3

 

Yesterday's run was brought to you by wind and cloud cover. 

Its actually the only run I did this week although I did manage some strength training. 

Barry was working so I was on my own for crewing this run and instead of getting everything ready ahead of time I pulled a "It'll be fiiiiiiiine" approach and regretted it almost immediately. 

As of right now the boys are still in school so Fridays are my long run days and it works out really well except I'm a slow runner and sometimes I come right up against the deadline of needed to go pick them up. Which is almost what happened yesterday.

I have approached the last couple of runs that way I would Habanero, walk the first half and do running intervals during the second half. The reasoning for this is that HH starts at noon. It starts at noon so you are fresh when you hit the hottest part of the day and as you start getting tired, it starts moving into the evening and cooling down. This is a great plan except that my training long runs have to start at 8am so I can finish before I have to go pick up the boys. Meaning I start when its cool and it gets hotter as I get higher in my mileage.

I decided to do this run backwards and run intervals from miles 1-8 so I could bank time to be able to walk the hottest part of my run and it worked great! I was able to run my tiny little intervals and add a little length to the interval with each mile. I was able to maintain those intervals all the way until the last three miles where I ran out of ice and water. I still felt surprisingly good, not perfect, but really good considering this was my longest run in a really, really long time. 

I will say that miles 11-14 were incredibly difficult. It was hot. I knew that when I ran out of my current ice there was no more. I worried that if I pushed too hard and got woozy there was no one near (that I knew) that could come help me. I was worried that even if I could finish the distance I would be putting myself and my boys at risk when I went to go pick them up from school. If I pushed too hard because I felt good during the run would that hold up and allow me to get home safely?

And then I worried that I was worrying too much and making up ridiculous situations because other than being hot and tired I really was fine. 

Welcome to my brain. 

In the end everything worked out great! I was able to hit an awesome pace considering I included all of my potty breaks and time I spent refilling my pack. The potty breaks wont take as long during the race because I will just use the porta potties and not have to let myself back into the house, go to the bathroom, then lock everything back up again. And Barry/my crew will have my packs ready for me so that will save time during the race as well. So I'm REALLY happy with my pace for this run.

That being said, my run took so long that in the time it took me to finish it, two guys built a shed in their backyard.  

This was also an important run because my last two long runs I had to cut short because of time or because I was ill-equipped for the run and had to quit for safety reasons. I needed to finish this run or I wouldn't be able to gradually increase my mileage over the summer. As it is I'm up against the wire. This is my current plan (highlighted workouts are ones I've completed):

I have my long runs set up to increase two miles each long run and I alternate weeks between long runs and shorter recovery runs (those 8 milers). If I miss a long run or two the increase from week to week will be too much to do safely. But I am DETERMINED to get this race done. A 50K has been on my list for years now and its starting to give me an eye twitch that I haven't finished one. 

I really feel like this is my year to do it.  My mom can watch the boys for my long runs and I can run my shorter runs on the treadmill. I have almost finished my first 12 week Sweat program. I completed 30 days of 75 Hard. I'm starting to get my discipline back and realizing that I can do hard things. And that those hard things, aren't as hard as I thought they were. 

-Ri

A Day with Bear

 

On Monday Bear and I played hooky and had the BEST day. 

It was Monday and I was supposed to be enjoying my "recovery" day from the weekend. I was supposed to get out the house and run errands then come home and cozy up with a book and a snack and enjoy my "me time".  I was supposed to be enjoying my quiet time. But, it felt empty. And lonely. 

I was sitting in a parking lot trying to figure out my next move when I looked up. I saw an IHop and remembered how much fun I had with Bear introducing him to sprinkle pancakes one day after a doctor's visit. I smiled and my chest kind of filled with warmth. So I started thinking about how cool it would be to go pick up Bear from school and take him to IHop, and then it went further. How cool would it be to go pick him up from school and play video games with him (something he loves). And as I was driving out of the parking lot I argued with myself the whole way to his school. I didn't actually make the decision to go get him until I was in the parking lot of his school. 

I picked him up and as we were walking away from his school he asked in this small voice "Is everything ok? What's wrong?" I walked him a little further away and whispered in his ear 

"Nothing. Today, we are going to go have FUN."

He gave me the best little quiet giggle and we got in the car. I started naming off all the things we could do; go gets snacks and play video games, go to the park, go to the aquarium, and then I said the zoo and his eyes lit up! Thats where he wanted to go so that is where we went! No planning, no questioning, we just went!

As we were walking up to the zoo he said "this is so cool! It's just me and you! We never get to do this! I love brothers but its kind of nice to not have to worry about them running off." And that's when I realized he needed this just as much as I did. He was just filled with wonder and amazement and joy at this quiet time together. 

We went in and walked most of the zoo and just had a good time chatting with each other. When we came up to the carousel he asked in that small voice again "Can we do the ride?" I said yes, absolutely! I got him settled on his panda and looked up at him. He had the best smile on his face and he kept giving this little giggle. As the ride started and he started laughing I said to myself "This is it. This is the moment it is all worth it. This is the moment." I soaked it in and luckily caught that moment of wild joy on his face. 

We left a little after that and while its not much of a story, it was such a transformative moment for me. Ashlie said it was a healing day and I think she was right. So often I have to be the parent-in-charge. The one looking out for everything, the one in charge of discipline, the one in charge of head counts, the one in charge of the snacks, the drinks, the tickets, the itinerary, the EVERYTHING.  This couple of hours I got to remind myself that there IS joy in motherhood. And I didn't realize how much I needed it. 

Next week I'm going to pick up Nathaniel and we're going to go to the aquarium. 

After that Im going to take William to Schlitterbahn if their heated park is up.  

2022 Resolutions

 

I'll be honest. 

I'm not entirely sure that 2021 actually happened. 

Somehow, it is already 2022 and I have no clue how we got here.

Last night we celebrated the new year and I am so excited for this opportunity for a fresh start. I've always loved resolutions and lists and habit challenges and whatnot and this year is no different. I have a list a mile long and I'm going to write it down here so I can revisit it throughout the year and link back to it. 

Last night I was going through Facebook and a few friends were listing their accomplishments of the year and I loved reading through them! 2021 was all about surviving and I didn't journal, or blog, or post on social media, or really do anything to chronicle my accomplishments and now it is the end of the year and I'm coming up blank. I know I did stuff, buuuuuut I can't remember any of it (except Ashlie's wedding because it was amaaaaaazing). 

So my first resolution: blog more. Not for followers or anything else, just to have a freaking record of what the hell I did all year! Here is the rest of my list by category (it's going to be long because I love having broken down, tangible items I can actually check off): 

Health and Fitness:

-Be comfortable, joyful, energetic, and powerful in my own skin

-Get healthy for my boys

-Weight Loss

-Complete a full Sweat progression

Post Pregnancy

Low Impact

BBG

-Complete 2022 Run the Year Mileage

-Volunteer at TROT Races

-Bonus: Run 50K Habanero Hundred and/or 50K Brazos Bend

Parenting Goals:

I haven't quite flushed this one out. It is hard to make goals that are based on other people but my big goal is to be more present and stop hiding in the kitchen from my kids ;) 

Institute a Chore Chart 

Teach Bear to tie his shoes

Less screen time (need to figure out)

Teach twins to give themselves baths

Misc Goals:

-Organize Recipes

-Organize Photos

-Master baking a pie

-Read 10 NEW books and keep my weekly streak going 

-Complete 5 crochet/knit projects

Mom's Scarf

Phil's Blanket

A Hat

-Learn how to knit socks

-Blog Weekly

-Go see a doctor and treat my anxiety 

-Clean and organize whole house REDUCE STUFF

-Take a trip...somewhere?

-Date night once a month

-Take the boys out more (goal is once a month)

Financial Goals:

-Set Up Payroll

-Catch up on Taxes

-Pay off debt to a reasonable amount

-Buy House

-Buy second personal vehicle

-Increase our savings for fun stuff!

Company Goals:

-Buy second truck

-Set up Atlanta  

This is just a brain dump. Most of these items will have their own blog posts down the road and I might add to the list as ideas come to me but I wanted to at least get this post started!

So here is to the new year!!!!!!

-Ri

Maybe 2020 is Like a Mullet?

I am sooooooo feeling this meme. 😂

Barry is finally home today and everything feels right in the world. 

Just hearing him walk around the house making his work calls is the 

most wonderful thing. 

In the spirit of this meme and the absolute happiness I am feeling right now

I felt like making some resolutions. 

This year I will take it one day at a time. 

This year I will force myself out of the house and have more

experiences with the boys. 

This year I will not hide, I will not wait for the "right time", I will

not wait for anything. Having had our freedom taken away, when it is safe again

 I intend on doing ALL THE THINGS. 

I will find the joy of my boys again.

I won't take the simple things for granted again. Things like playgrounds

and splashpads, visiting family, visiting friends. 

I will also stop apologizing for doing what is right for my family.

Being on lockdown has made me realize how much social anxiety I have,

the relief of not having to explain myself has been tremendous. 

So I'm going to do what is right for my family. 

We're already halfway through the year. There's not a lot of time left

to do all the things I want to do. But I am going to do my damndest to 

really LIVE the rest of the year.  

Barry and I are back together, and together, we can do anything.  

Sunday Intentions

My backyard was a beautiful place this morning.

I was filling my mug in my kitchen sink, I looked up and was struck with

the vibrance and tranquility of my backyard. 

It has been raining this week and it has made the greens in my backyard so

saturated with color. The sun was dappling through the trees and I could tell

there was a little breeze coming up from the water. 

I made a decision, to make my tea and go drink it outside and make some peace

with myself. No phone. No notebook to make a list. Just me and William.

I also decided to lay down some intentions. It has been a rough week

and I've been hiding from a lot of things under the guise of being productive.

I'm tired of just scraping by during the days.

 I'd like to live my life more intentionally.  

It has been something I've strove for in the past and never could quite keep

up with. But this morning, in the peace of my backyard, I decided to try again.

I can use this blog to make those weekly goals and just remind myself of them. 

This week I'm going to focus on my base goals as a person. 

These will be a reoccurring theme because they're that important 

and relevant to me.

1. Make a Home for my Family

This isn't necessarily a to-do list. This isn't do laundry, make the beds, 

sweep the floors, although those are a component of it. What I want to do

is make a place where I can spend time with them and be comfortable doing it.

That means getting things done that need to get done but being sure to spend

time with them, I get into that on #2.

I can't be a good mom and have a messy house. We can't do fun activities

at the dining room table if the table is piled high with stuff I was too lazy

to put away. 

2. Lean into It

I've been hiding from my kids this week. Well, for a while longer than a week

but it's been difficult. I've convinced myself that I don't hav time to deal with my

kids because I have so many important things to do. And I do have important things

to do but it isn't my kids fault that I suck at time management and I get overwhelmed

easily. So I'm going to carve time out for my baby boys. 

When I'm in a race and I'm running low, I don't quit. I lean into it. I can

do the same for my boys. More hugs, less yelling. Smile when I see them.

Don't huff when Bear asks for another drink. Take the time to teach

them life skills. Embrace them and everything that comes with them. 

I was going to do three items but I'm just going to start with these two. 

The boys are all awake now and the day is starting, but I'm going to try to 

hold on to that peace I found this morning. 

I was able to take a couple pictures of William and his smile. 

I was so filled with love this morning. I hope that by writing this post

I can remind myself of that love when this week gets hard. 

-Ri

Introducing Weekly Themes

So, yesterday was a mess. 

Ain't gonna lie.

But, as the day wound down I was reminded of the idea of

weekly themes. I am always in need of a central thread to grow

ideas from and this fits perfectly into that idea. 

I'm great at planning these things. Not so great

at implementing them. But I did find a great resource

www.education.com

that is going to help with this. 

Next week we will be doing Under the Sea as our theme!

So we will be doing all the school stuff we need to do,

but it will be with an ocean-y type theme. Math will be counting

seashells, for example. 

So I have a plan!

And thank goodness too,

because HISD just announced they will be doing

online only schooling until October 16th so I gotta

get my ass in gear!!

Right now Barry is quarantining in our home office

while doing his feature (which they just shut down temporarily

because some people got sick.) but as soon as he is done

I will work on getting that space back and cute for the boys.

Until then, our new dining room table will come in this week

or next and I'm hoping Bear will be excited enough about it to want

to do school work in the dining room!

I'm still working on what all I will need to do each week but

I know I will need to cover:

-Math

-Science

-Handwriting

-Language

-Music

-Puzzles

-PE

And then the twins have their own stuff I need to figure out. 

I think I'll need two hours a day with Bear, and then an hour each with the twins. 

Honestly, I can't freaking wait. I LIVE for this kind of stuff,

I just don't know how to make my kid love it as much as I do. 

ESPECIALLY WHEN HE LOVES DOING IT AT SCHOOL

BUT NOT AT HOME.

You can understand my frustration?

I'm finalizing my plans for next week, when I get that finished 

I'll do another post on my ideas! 

And by my ideas I mean stuff I stole off pinterest ;)

-Ri

The Struggle Is Effing Real

I'm struggling ya'll. 

I'm struggling with being a good mom. 

I'm struggling with being a good teacher to the boys. Especially Bear. 

I haven't been very nice to him. 

I'm struggling with keeping the house even remotely clean. 

I'm struggling with losing weight.

I'm struggling with my motivation...for anything. 

Even things I want to do.

I'm struggling with this blog, which I want solely

as a keepsake for me. 

I'm struggling everything. 

And I'm so ambivalent to it all which is the most frustrating part.

I have no energy.

I have no WANT to do anything. 

I don't even have a good way to turn this post around. I don't have any 

good advice. I don't have a plan. 

Today I lost it with Bear. I was trying to get him to do his summer schoolwork.

Every damn mommy blogger, pediatrician, and teacher talk about how you should

do summer school work with your kid. It is good for them, teaches them work ethic

etc etc etc. 

Well. I suck at it. Bear sucks at it. He is great, perfect in school and when 

he gets home he becomes this little brat that can't be bothered to do

SIMPLE schoolwork. Wont read a level 1 "Spot digs dirt" book

and then I find out he's reading Harry effing Potter in school. 

This kid won't do a damn thing for me but will bend over backwards for

his teachers. It hurts. But I would be able to handle it if I wasn't quickly

becoming his teacher because of this COVID thing. 

So today I lost it. And I yelled. And I made my little boy cry. And the worst

part was that I didn't care. I was that angry. 

And then, after I told him how much he hurt my feelings that he is rude to me

and won't do his schoolwork and is just generally mean to me I turned around. 

As I was walking away he goes: "So are we still going to go get my slushy?"

Kids can be such assholes. 

I had to leave the room and collect myself. And just completely shut down emotionally.

I went back in the room and said that we can go get his slushy for finally 

completing his schoolwork. But that we were going to start the day over. 

I wasn't going to yell. But I also told him that I wouldn't tolerate his 

attitude or rudeness to me either. 

So we went and got lunch. And I got a damn burger, sometimes it is more 

important to get the goody so you can be a better person. 

He was so excited about his slushy.

And I let him. I didn't bring up the horrible morning we just had. 

This kid loves me no matter how much I yell, or how bad of a mom I am. 

He just loves and forgives unconditionally.

I should do the same. 

So today was a hard day. We cuddled on the couch and played games for 

a while during the afternoon. I tried to remember he is my sweet little boy, 

and I should treat him that way. 

I will try to do better tomorrow. That's really all I can do. 

-Ri

Spring Break/Covid-19 Bucket List

So the world has gone to hell in a hand basket but hey...

at least we have toilet paper here ;D

Spring Break is this week so I've pulled together a list of things

I'd like to do with the boys. Lists make me haaaappy!
The list is a little longer than our normal Spring Break list
(and a little shorter on travel adventures) since Covid-19 has
extended their Spring Break by a week at least. 

Some of these are mundane things that we do on a daily basis,

but I like adding them to the list so I don't forget that the

things we do on a daily basis are what make up my children's 

childhood memories. 

Spring Break 2020 Bucket List:

Outside:

-Read Books in the Hammock

-Play on the Trampoline

-Fly a Kite

-All the Buuuuubbles!!
-Spray the Kids with The Hose ;D
-Swing!
-Go on Walks
-Play with Chalk
-Make a Sand Box

-Firepit

Inside:

-Play Velcro Darts
-Sticker Books
-Puzzles

-Make a Giant Duplo Train Set
-Science Kits for Bear
-Celebrate St. Paddy's Day
-Nerf Guns!
-Glow Stick Bath Party
-Plants vs. Zombie Xbox Tournament

Adventures:
(dependent upon Covid-19, the asshole)
-Houston Botanical Garden
-Bluebonnets by the Water
-Visit the Neighborhood Park



I will probably add more to this as the week(s) go on but I wanted
to get this posted so I can start linking up when we do some of these activities.

-Ri

Weekend Trip to Silverton, CO

Wow. So its been a minute! I'm not even going to try to catch up on 

everything that has happened. I'm just going to jump right in. 

Last weekend I got to take a trip (by myself!) to go visit Barry while he was 

on set shooting in Silverton, CO. We have always had this plan to never be away from each other for more than two weeks. Usually we can't do anything about it because of money or we can't find anyone to watch our dogs for us. But not this weekend! The boys stayed at Nana and Papa's house and my brother begrudgingly watched our dogs. 

I won't lie. I was a little scared to drive by myself. Our car is coming up on 250K miles (love mah baby!) and the idea of being stuck in the middle of nowhere is a real fear of mine. 

Also...desert zombies. True story. 

Lets just start with me saying...I get sick when I travel. Not sure if its motion sickness (unlikely) or if its just anxiety (bingo!) but every time I travel there is puking involved. I traveled to Austin for Celena's wedding and spent the first two hours of her wedding day puking. Not a good look. It  usually hits first thing in the morning. It is JUST LIKE morning sickness. 

If I can get to 9am I am usually good. 

This trip was no exception to the Maria's Travel Anxiety Saga. Unbeknownst to me, I was traveling the weekend of Spring Break so after a nine hour drive I was shocked to find out that there wasn't a SINGLE hotel in all of Amarillo that had a room for me. I was exhausted and freaked out at the prospect of having to drive another two hours to the next "big" town. Luckily there was a room available at the next small town, only twenty minutes away. 

I got in my room and settled down to rest. And that's when it hit. Anxiety about driving across the desert the next day. Anxiety about having to drive the treacherous mountain pass to get to Silverton. Anxiety about the truck breaking down (despite it driving beautifully all day long). I finally got to sleep but a few hours later (like two) I was awake and there was just no way I was going back to sleep. The nausea had hit me and since I was in the middle of nowhere there was no place I could go to to get some meds. So I started driving and it was the most miserable I have been while sick. Long story short I was finally able to get to a bigger town where I snatched a nap and some pepto and the fog lifted and I was just fine.

My trusty Whataburger cup! For vomit.  

There is nothing in New Mexico. Like...nothing. Most boring drive ever. 

But what I DID FIND was another Tahoe just. like. mine. I followed him all the way from Albuquerque to Durango. We were travel buddies. Or I was stalking him. Same dif.

I FINALLY made it to Durango where I was to meet Barry. Durango is only about twenty minutes from the New Mexico border so it pretty much looks like a mountain-y desert town. We grabbed some lunch at a little made-from-scratch restaurant and then 

drove the mountain pass to get to Silverton.

It was terrifying. Honestly, it wasn't that bad but I hate heights and oh man, some of those curves are just maaaade for cars to go flying off into oblivion. But oh goodness, the mountains. 

Silverton is nestled in this little valley surrounded by five mountains and it is stunningly beautiful. 

Most of the crew was off shooting so it was just me, Barry, and Phil doing a pseudo driving tour. I got to see the old mines and learn about the different ways homes are built there. I spent most of the time just looking around with my mouth open in wonder. We got an early dinner and then Barry and I just completely crashed. 

The next morning we decided we would do some more driving and then go hiking in the afternoon. 

Ok, this picture is kind of stupid but for me it was empowering. I finally have a Instagram worthy picture of just my morning coffee. I know, I know. I shouldn't base my life on the scale of others..whatever. I got my picture and I freaking love it. 

I still had some leftover travel tummy issues so I had some tea at the local coffee house and we did some driving. Now, when I say we went on a little drive, its kind of misleading. We went along a winding road north of town and stopped every three minutes or so so I could take pictures of nature.

My first time in real snow!

Mah baby!! I freaking love this truck.

We saw little creeks, a house built right over a mine shaft, and some of the older mines. 

I edited the shit out of this picture. Thank you FaceTune!

 

We talked with an older couple from the area and talked about off roading in the summer. 

We had lunch and then went on our hike!

It was just so beautiful. It was everything I could have hoped for. 

I got stuck in the snow. It was amazing.  Phil didn't even try lol

We ended the hike with a trip to one of the creeks. I've always wanted to take a drink out of a natural body of water. Luckily, Barry had one of those filters that you can sip out of so of course that had to happen. 

 

Just in case you were curious, it tastes just like bottled water.

 

Unfortunately Barry looks very puffy in this photo, but I look cute as shit so this is the one that got uploaded to facebook.

That was pretty much the trip. I wasn't there long and it is an itty-bitty town. Barry and I talked about the possibility of getting a vacation home there in the far future. I want to explore more of Colorado. It gave me this huge incentive to get fit. There is so much I want to do there that involves physical and mental staminia. It was a huge boost for me. 

We are going to take the boys and visit Billie this summer, it should be a lot of fun!

-Ri

My Next Thirty Years

 

This year I turn 30.

I'm gonna let that one sink in. 

Honestly, I haven't really given it much thought. I never really know how old I am anyway (I know, weird) so turning thirty has never really been an issue for me. But lately I've been in a little bit of a rut. I'm doing the day-to-day thing but there is nothing driving me. 

But today I made a decision. I am going to enjoy my 30s more than my 20s. This past decade hasn't been easy. I skipped out on college to help build Mark's company thinking that I would inhert it. Well that just didn't work out. So then I branched off, I wanted to work on set but by that time Barry and I were together and someone had to stay home and take come of the dogs. I know it sounds like a lame excuse but they are crate trained and you just can't leave a dog in their crate for 12+ hours. So I stayed home and started Heritage Knitting, a fun but ultimately failed venture. We have always been under the gun financially so I never felt like I could relax. And then I had my boys. All hope of ever being that fun and carefree beach girl went away in an instant. Don't get me wrong. I love my boys but it feels like the eniretly of my 20s was based on someone else's plan. I never got to do the things that I wanted to do because I was always trying to help someone or make someone else happy and I was always, always the responsible one.

I'm kinda done with that. 

I'm kinda done living for other people without taking care of myself. 

I'm kinda done schlupping around feeling sorry for myself because 

I'm not doing the things that I want to do.

I'm  kinda done with forever trying to organize and declutter our home. 

I'm kinda done with always being behind of filing, billing, computer work etc

I'm kinda done trying to lose "that last 30 pounds".

I'm just. kinda. done. 

So, to quote Tim McGraw:

The next thirty years are going to be the best years of my life. 

I'm going to get fit. I'm going to go to the beach when I want to. I'm going to spend my summers in a bikini with a deep tan and my winters rocking skinny jeans. I'm going to take the boys on adventures. I'm going to say yes without worrying about the consequences.  I might even go back to college.

I'm not going to be afraid anymore. 

and I just. can't. wait. 

-Ri

A Trip to The Island

It's no secret that I love the ocean. Like, as in "I won't move anywhere farther than an hours drive from the sea" (it is a JOY being married to me). I had been feeling kind of melancholy so Barry and I took at trip with Bear Bear to Galveston. 

And it was amazing. 

We took the Little Man to the Rainforest Cafe where we ate a stupid amount of food and spent a stupid amount of money for that food. Bear Bear had a blast looking at the aquariums and robotic animals. And every thirty minutes the restaurant gets dark and goes through a simulated thunderstorm. It's pretty awesome.

I told Barry we should totally take Bear Bear to the beach just to hang out for a minute. 

Barry: Do you think that's a good idea? I mean, we didn't bring any spare clothes or towels. 

Me: It will be fine! The last time I brought him down here he didn't want to have anything to do with the ocean. It'll be fiiiiiiine!

So after the meal we walked across the street and then this happened:

 

I could not stop laughing.

They played in the water for a good hour and had a total blast (and Barry always says he hates the beach, psh!).

 

We saw some crazy blue jellyfish that I thought were really pretty. 

I finally got to dig my toes in the sand! It was heaven. 

Bear Bear was getting tired by this point but we decided to push the envelope and make one more stop to the Tall Shop Elissa.

 

It probably wasn't the best day for it. They had a bunch of volunteers working on the sails and it made for a crowded boat. Even though it was a great learning experience and the people were super friendly, I was so concerned with getting in the way and watching where all the ropes were going that I didn't really enjoy myself. 

The boat was absolutely beautiful and I think it would be great to go back and take the self guided audio tour. 

 I would love to go back again sometime soon with just the Mister so I can relax and walk the Strand but we had a great day playing with Bear Bear! 

-Ri