Maybe 2020 is Like a Mullet?

I am sooooooo feeling this meme. 😂

Barry is finally home today and everything feels right in the world. 

Just hearing him walk around the house making his work calls is the 

most wonderful thing. 

In the spirit of this meme and the absolute happiness I am feeling right now

I felt like making some resolutions. 

This year I will take it one day at a time. 

This year I will force myself out of the house and have more

experiences with the boys. 

This year I will not hide, I will not wait for the "right time", I will

not wait for anything. Having had our freedom taken away, when it is safe again

 I intend on doing ALL THE THINGS. 

I will find the joy of my boys again.

I won't take the simple things for granted again. Things like playgrounds

and splashpads, visiting family, visiting friends. 

I will also stop apologizing for doing what is right for my family.

Being on lockdown has made me realize how much social anxiety I have,

the relief of not having to explain myself has been tremendous. 

So I'm going to do what is right for my family. 

We're already halfway through the year. There's not a lot of time left

to do all the things I want to do. But I am going to do my damndest to 

really LIVE the rest of the year.  

Barry and I are back together, and together, we can do anything.  

Sunday Intentions

My backyard was a beautiful place this morning.

I was filling my mug in my kitchen sink, I looked up and was struck with

the vibrance and tranquility of my backyard. 

It has been raining this week and it has made the greens in my backyard so

saturated with color. The sun was dappling through the trees and I could tell

there was a little breeze coming up from the water. 

I made a decision, to make my tea and go drink it outside and make some peace

with myself. No phone. No notebook to make a list. Just me and William.

I also decided to lay down some intentions. It has been a rough week

and I've been hiding from a lot of things under the guise of being productive.

I'm tired of just scraping by during the days.

 I'd like to live my life more intentionally.  

It has been something I've strove for in the past and never could quite keep

up with. But this morning, in the peace of my backyard, I decided to try again.

I can use this blog to make those weekly goals and just remind myself of them. 

This week I'm going to focus on my base goals as a person. 

These will be a reoccurring theme because they're that important 

and relevant to me.

1. Make a Home for my Family

This isn't necessarily a to-do list. This isn't do laundry, make the beds, 

sweep the floors, although those are a component of it. What I want to do

is make a place where I can spend time with them and be comfortable doing it.

That means getting things done that need to get done but being sure to spend

time with them, I get into that on #2.

I can't be a good mom and have a messy house. We can't do fun activities

at the dining room table if the table is piled high with stuff I was too lazy

to put away. 

2. Lean into It

I've been hiding from my kids this week. Well, for a while longer than a week

but it's been difficult. I've convinced myself that I don't hav time to deal with my

kids because I have so many important things to do. And I do have important things

to do but it isn't my kids fault that I suck at time management and I get overwhelmed

easily. So I'm going to carve time out for my baby boys. 

When I'm in a race and I'm running low, I don't quit. I lean into it. I can

do the same for my boys. More hugs, less yelling. Smile when I see them.

Don't huff when Bear asks for another drink. Take the time to teach

them life skills. Embrace them and everything that comes with them. 

I was going to do three items but I'm just going to start with these two. 

The boys are all awake now and the day is starting, but I'm going to try to 

hold on to that peace I found this morning. 

I was able to take a couple pictures of William and his smile. 

I was so filled with love this morning. I hope that by writing this post

I can remind myself of that love when this week gets hard. 

-Ri

Introducing Weekly Themes

So, yesterday was a mess. 

Ain't gonna lie.

But, as the day wound down I was reminded of the idea of

weekly themes. I am always in need of a central thread to grow

ideas from and this fits perfectly into that idea. 

I'm great at planning these things. Not so great

at implementing them. But I did find a great resource

www.education.com

that is going to help with this. 

Next week we will be doing Under the Sea as our theme!

So we will be doing all the school stuff we need to do,

but it will be with an ocean-y type theme. Math will be counting

seashells, for example. 

So I have a plan!

And thank goodness too,

because HISD just announced they will be doing

online only schooling until October 16th so I gotta

get my ass in gear!!

Right now Barry is quarantining in our home office

while doing his feature (which they just shut down temporarily

because some people got sick.) but as soon as he is done

I will work on getting that space back and cute for the boys.

Until then, our new dining room table will come in this week

or next and I'm hoping Bear will be excited enough about it to want

to do school work in the dining room!

I'm still working on what all I will need to do each week but

I know I will need to cover:

-Math

-Science

-Handwriting

-Language

-Music

-Puzzles

-PE

And then the twins have their own stuff I need to figure out. 

I think I'll need two hours a day with Bear, and then an hour each with the twins. 

Honestly, I can't freaking wait. I LIVE for this kind of stuff,

I just don't know how to make my kid love it as much as I do. 

ESPECIALLY WHEN HE LOVES DOING IT AT SCHOOL

BUT NOT AT HOME.

You can understand my frustration?

I'm finalizing my plans for next week, when I get that finished 

I'll do another post on my ideas! 

And by my ideas I mean stuff I stole off pinterest ;)

-Ri

The Struggle Is Effing Real

I'm struggling ya'll. 

I'm struggling with being a good mom. 

I'm struggling with being a good teacher to the boys. Especially Bear. 

I haven't been very nice to him. 

I'm struggling with keeping the house even remotely clean. 

I'm struggling with losing weight.

I'm struggling with my motivation...for anything. 

Even things I want to do.

I'm struggling with this blog, which I want solely

as a keepsake for me. 

I'm struggling everything. 

And I'm so ambivalent to it all which is the most frustrating part.

I have no energy.

I have no WANT to do anything. 

I don't even have a good way to turn this post around. I don't have any 

good advice. I don't have a plan. 

Today I lost it with Bear. I was trying to get him to do his summer schoolwork.

Every damn mommy blogger, pediatrician, and teacher talk about how you should

do summer school work with your kid. It is good for them, teaches them work ethic

etc etc etc. 

Well. I suck at it. Bear sucks at it. He is great, perfect in school and when 

he gets home he becomes this little brat that can't be bothered to do

SIMPLE schoolwork. Wont read a level 1 "Spot digs dirt" book

and then I find out he's reading Harry effing Potter in school. 

This kid won't do a damn thing for me but will bend over backwards for

his teachers. It hurts. But I would be able to handle it if I wasn't quickly

becoming his teacher because of this COVID thing. 

So today I lost it. And I yelled. And I made my little boy cry. And the worst

part was that I didn't care. I was that angry. 

And then, after I told him how much he hurt my feelings that he is rude to me

and won't do his schoolwork and is just generally mean to me I turned around. 

As I was walking away he goes: "So are we still going to go get my slushy?"

Kids can be such assholes. 

I had to leave the room and collect myself. And just completely shut down emotionally.

I went back in the room and said that we can go get his slushy for finally 

completing his schoolwork. But that we were going to start the day over. 

I wasn't going to yell. But I also told him that I wouldn't tolerate his 

attitude or rudeness to me either. 

So we went and got lunch. And I got a damn burger, sometimes it is more 

important to get the goody so you can be a better person. 

He was so excited about his slushy.

And I let him. I didn't bring up the horrible morning we just had. 

This kid loves me no matter how much I yell, or how bad of a mom I am. 

He just loves and forgives unconditionally.

I should do the same. 

So today was a hard day. We cuddled on the couch and played games for 

a while during the afternoon. I tried to remember he is my sweet little boy, 

and I should treat him that way. 

I will try to do better tomorrow. That's really all I can do. 

-Ri

Spring Break/Covid-19 Bucket List

So the world has gone to hell in a hand basket but hey...

at least we have toilet paper here ;D

Spring Break is this week so I've pulled together a list of things

I'd like to do with the boys. Lists make me haaaappy!
The list is a little longer than our normal Spring Break list
(and a little shorter on travel adventures) since Covid-19 has
extended their Spring Break by a week at least. 

Some of these are mundane things that we do on a daily basis,

but I like adding them to the list so I don't forget that the

things we do on a daily basis are what make up my children's 

childhood memories. 

Spring Break 2020 Bucket List:

Outside:

-Read Books in the Hammock

-Play on the Trampoline

-Fly a Kite

-All the Buuuuubbles!!
-Spray the Kids with The Hose ;D
-Swing!
-Go on Walks
-Play with Chalk
-Make a Sand Box

-Firepit

Inside:

-Play Velcro Darts
-Sticker Books
-Puzzles

-Make a Giant Duplo Train Set
-Science Kits for Bear
-Celebrate St. Paddy's Day
-Nerf Guns!
-Glow Stick Bath Party
-Plants vs. Zombie Xbox Tournament

Adventures:
(dependent upon Covid-19, the asshole)
-Houston Botanical Garden
-Bluebonnets by the Water
-Visit the Neighborhood Park



I will probably add more to this as the week(s) go on but I wanted
to get this posted so I can start linking up when we do some of these activities.

-Ri